Spiritual Abuse - What is It?

Whether physical, sexual or emotional, abuse follows the same pattern. The abuser is someone who uses their power to control their own needs by asserting their control over their victim(s) , who generally are the vulnerable such as the young. Sadly because of the vulnerabilities of the victims,  abuse may go undetected for very long periods. One  reason is that the victim often believes that somehow they are to blame.  Another reason why abuse goes undetected for a long time is “cover up”. Not because people are bad and condone abuse but because of denial. Wives’ protect husbands who abuse because they are unable to come to terms with the shame, face the rest of the family their siblings and communities. As a result it is perceived that an attack on a family member is an attack on them. For some to admit that abuse exists in their family may be accompanied by a feeling that they are themselves abusers by association, and so they form a protection around the abuser rather than the victim.

In the church, it is the church that is the family and there spiritual abuse has all the characteristics mentioned above with one exception, the fear of the retribution of God which is fostered as a tool by the abuser. A belief that the abuser is anoited by God.  Research reveals that often the abusive pastor, vicar; leader is sincere, gifted and even very successful in growing their movement and experiencing signs and wonders in their church.   But underlying in the abuser is a sickness of hurt and often a history of being abused themselves. Given the right conditions the abusive personality will flourish. Such conditions maybe, suspect hurts, perceived threat and idolatry of the abusers gifting, and the removal of accountability of the leader.

Those that are affected by the abuse are castigated as the ‘enemy’ and even condemned as demonic and then isolated from friends and family by the church. Those that remain gather around the leader to protect them and themselves and so if left an unhealthy environment begins to form. What is inevitable is hurt on a considerable scale, distrust in people, in God and sometimes loss of faith completly.Then of course there is the damage inflicted on the victems family as they struggle to recover.  In somecase recovery can take many months or even years.